GalacticMu

What’s better than being a scientist named Krzysztof Matyjaszewski? Being a scientist named Krzysztof Matyjaszewski who has invented a way to make nanoparticles “invisible”.  I’m uncertain as to the usage of the quotation marks over there, because they aren’t faking being invisible, they really are.  Visible to the naked eye, anyway.

Basically, nanomaterials are often whitish in color, or milky, due to the way they refract light.  By combining them with a polymer,  Matyjaszewski and pal Michael Bockstaller had produced a way to “grease” the light on through, as Matyjaszewski says.  And I can never argue with a scientist who says that photons can be greased up.

And while Bockstaller says the invisible materials have use in the “aerospace and cosmetics industry” I think what he means by this is UFOs and cyberpunk urban camouflage cloaks.  Or some kind of new and totally revolutionary Apple product that is packed to the gills with DRM and costs more than your mother’s hip surgery.

Secretive and teaser-y article here at Scientific Blogging.

I don’t have cable TV, so I haven’t yet had a chance to watch the new Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but Quagmire is a watcher and a fan.  He points us towards a particularly well-written article by Entertainment Weekly’s Whitney Pastorek.  Equal parts re-cap to review, Quagmire delightfully reports that Ms. Pastorek is spot-on.

(A cleaner flash version of this video is available here at Virgin Galactic’s website.)

I am having a hard time articulating the intensity of feeling I have while watching this video. I don’t have a lot of allegiances in this dimension; governments are corrupt, the gods have all gone missing and everything left is subject to entropy. But something happens to me when I see Sir Richard Branson or his enterprise Virgin Galactic: I become devotional. There’s no mindlessness to it, no guru-deception or blinding corporate candyfloss. The epiphany hit me like a surprise sneeze: Branson is in my karass. I don’t know exactly what we are doing, or why, but I know that we’re in it together.

There was a time when serious books were allowed ostentatious names, and those days are long buried under the castoff knickers of the Pussycat Dolls.  Books like this one:

I have not yet read it, but I am looking forward to the dreadful looming horror of the plastic-eaters.  Kit Pedler was a science adviser for Dr. Who, and later was partially responsible for the BBC science fiction series Doomwatch.  From what I read, “The Plastic Eaters” was the pilot episode for Doomwatch, the plot of which this novel is based.  I will keep you all updated to the delights of Mutant 59: The Plastic-Eaters.

Being modest is a hobby of mine, the kind I’m reasonably good at but infrequently interested in – other similar hobbies include learning Klingon, sewing, and quoting from Aliens as my only source of verbal communication.

That being said, I hope that I don’t sound immodest when I say that I know pretty much all there is to know about tattoos. For years I apprenticed as a tattoo artist before I realized that I hated people nearly as much as I hated drawing on command. However, I really liked the people I worked for and the industry was such second nature to me that I remained on staff doing anything but actual tattooing.

The tattoo and body modification industry is a very strange one, far beyond the aspect of the “alternative” culture still erroneously associated with it. Rather, the strangness is borne largely from it’s fractured competitiveness. Standardization is rare, in everything from ink to needles to aftercare (especially aftercare). There are die-hard users of tried-and-tested products never meant for use with tattoos (such as A+D diaper rash ointment), as are there devotees of the entirely questionable industry specific products (such as Tattoo Goo). There are as many “right” ways of doing things as there are things to do – and somehow twice as many “wrong” ways. One aspect has remained the same for many years, however, and that is that tattoos are forever.

Sort of.

Some years ago the technology emerged for laser tattoo removal. It’s not a particularly interesting story, but the evolution of the tattoo had suddenly changed; if I had a dollar for every time I heard someone semi-jokingly claim they could just “get it lasered off” if they didn’t like it, well, I’d be able to buy myself a filling for one of my cavities. The fact of the matter is, you can’t “just” get it lasered off any more than you can “just” grow your leg back together after it’s broken. It is prohibitively expensive, painful, and in most cases, not thorough. A stain or shadow of the tattoo left behind is a good removal. A bad removal is a merely blurred and faded one.

For many years at the tattoo shop it was common to be asked, “Do you guys have that disappearing ink?” We had a lot of mean answers, of course, because being mean is how we dealt with having deep charred pits of hopelessness in our hearts. The professional answer was “There is no such thing,” an answer that was often met with a disbelieving stare and a customer who left to consult another shop. There were products that claimed to fade or disappear, but without any wide-spread testing or long-term aging, no respectable shop would use it. (There is also a sort of urban legend about “glow-in-the-dark” ink, though no such product safely exists on the market – there is however a UV reactive ink that as near as I can tell is safe, though still visible by normal light spectrums.)

And then came the terrorist-fighting Freedom-2™.

The short version of the story is that a team of medical researchers wanted to make a tattoo ink that broke down easily in the body. Makes sense, considering that radiation treatment and some mastectomies require positioning tattoos, which results in a different kind of regretful reminder than that drunken Jagermeister tattoo does. The technology is not altogether complicated: a ink that is more easily absorbed by the body is suspended inside microscopic capsules, which in turn are easily broken apart by a tattoo-removing laser. The company claims that a tattoo with their inks will fully reabsorb after just one pass with a laser, but I can’t find any information on how long that takes, nor can I find any independent testing to confirm it.

Additionally, because the technology is new, there is no information on how long the capsules would last if not exposed to a laser. As you may know, the sun’s UV rays work almost exactly like a laser, but in smaller doses. Exposure to sunlight is literally just like having your tattoo removed, but on a fractional scale. I have a vague memory of reading about this ink last year and there being a 10 year limit on the capsules, but I might be making that up.

Whatever the case, there are some major issues. The first is that inevitably, people will want to be charged less for non-permanent ink. No tattoo artist will do this, and if anything I can guarantee you that they will charge more. I know I would.

The second major issue is that of the natural breakdown of the ink. What will it look like? Will it happen suddenly, over the course of a few weeks, or over months? Will it fade evenly, or in patches? Will a person really be comfortable this mangled half-tattoo? What if, after 10 years, they want to keep the tattoo? Will going over the same area with permanent ink, or even more Freedom-2™ (or whatever version upgrade they’ve progressed to) have a negative effect on the absorbtion process of the degrading ink?

Lastly, what will it psychologically mean to people if they believe their tattoo is impermanent? I am not sure how I feel about this last part. I must admit that I am deeply intrigued at the idea that a body modification as powerful as a tattoo can be erased at will. Tattoo purists and those determined to hold onto their “alternative” identities by tooth and by nail are undoubtedly threatened by this – how hardcore is a facial tattoo if every bimbo can get one without consequence? On the other hand, I can’t deny the futuristic appeal of altering one’s self drastically at a whim – indeed, if there were ink that disappeared in a year, I’d get myself straight in line for a portrait of Patrick Stewart on my ass. Halcyon would break up with me, but we could get back together after the tattoo was reabsorbed into my body.

None of this explains why Freedom-2™ couldn’t get some models with real tattoos for their website. Also, I’m not real pleased with a bevy of outright lies on their website, for example, the following:

“Today’s inks have known toxic and carcinogenic properties (…)”

Uh, no. Or possibly on a technicality; Splenda has known toxic and carcinogenic properties, too. So does hair dye. Last time I checked there weren’t any tattoo cancer victims. Horror stories abound of allergic reactions to tattoo ink, and inevitably these are either due to incompetence or acts of a vengeful and bacteria-loving god. Neither of these problems will be solved with a new brand of ink.

Freedom-2™ also throws out this little bon mot:

“People with professional tattoos are 9 times more likely to contract Hepatitis C.”

Oh-ho-ho, really? Really? How about we explain the rationale behind this dinner party factoid: people with tattoos are, yes, more likely to participate in risky behaviors, including sexual and drug behaviors. In other words: people with professional tattoos get Hepatitis C more often, but not because of their tattoos. And that, folks, is science.

So, what about you? What tattoo would you get if it’d disappear with the single pass of a laser?

Gary Gygax, co-creator of D&D, died today.

I can’t tell you how much this guy did to help rescue me from an excruciatingly awkward childhood. Long before I was bolstering my ego by programming the c64 to say “hello”, I was rolling dice in a dark basement, avoiding getting my ass kicked with my chubby smarty pants friends. We found our pride where we could, and for us that was in a dungeon where for once we could claim we had some charisma.

It’s weird, just last night I was looking at this and thinking “maybe we should have a kid, just so I can put them in this”. Boohoo.

So let’s all pour a little mead for our homie.

It is rare that a computer component is truthfully marketed, and especially a graphics or sound card. Generally we are shown a preternaturally smooth-skinned fantasy creature of some sexual origin (“night elf” is pretty much slang for a cosplay hooker now, right?) with the sort of vague promise that this thing will be ours, ala Weird Science. And while I appreciate the promise of a Kelly LeBrock encounter, both in 1985 and now, the tradition of needlessly chest-thumping graphics cards is unappealing to me. Give me a nice, straight-forward sales approach any day.

Thanks, as always, to Quagmire and his far-seeing eye.

This thing looks fantastic. Mobile Digital Scribe from IOGear is a digital pen that acts like a regular ink pen but stores up to 50 pages of notes and doodles that can be uploaded to your computer later. If you have the transmitter attached to a computer your input will appear on you screen real time.

I wonder how accurate this thing is. I suspect the results when you upload the day’s notes might be pretty hilarious. But still, the thought of leaving the 5 pound laptop at home on the next away mission without winding up with a pocket full of shit scribbled on scaps of paper makes me seriously want to buy one of these… I’m still trying to find out if this thing will work on a Mac.

via Link

Due to a glitch with Verizon Leila Sales gets a text message when anyone texts to “Leila”, which happens daily. She blogs the unintentional eavesdropping at The Leila Texts.

I am aware that I put off a worldly, hyper-futuristic and educated vibe, but when you put me in front of a television I am nothing better than a gasping, pea-brained catfish.  Here are some of the few thoughts that made it through.

• When did the Scifi Channel become the Stargate Channel?

• There was an ad for a diet pill that proclaimed to “do more than just shrink your belly” and then proceeded to show a woman who caressed her hips, thighs and butt. My question is: is there a diet pill that just shrinks your belly? And this is some kind of big problem for the diet pill industry?

• I gag when people pronounce “buttah” and think they’re being quirky.

• I am a prudish old woman, which is why when the girl in The Princess Diaries gets made over to look “pretty” I think she looks like a hooker.

• The world “protocepting” and “prognosticators” used within 60 seconds on one program about food.

• One out of every ten commercials on the Food Network is for severe digestive problems.

• Sword swallowing is offensive.

• There are Cadillac commercials where a woman is talking about things (things that turn her on, things that women like in a car) but the audio in intentionally jacked – it’s slightly out of sync, oversaturated, weirdly enunciated – basically it enrages me.

• There are some real fucking assholes on the Food Network.

• Why did True Hollywood Story start calling itself THS? It is upsetting for me since my highschool was called THS and I keep thinking that the True Hollywood Story is about my highschool.

• Have you ever watched Samantha Brown: Passport to Europe? Don’t.

• Seriously, how many episodes of Stargate get made in a week? 14? 30?

• In the year since I’ve seen cable television they’ve invented psychic cars.

• I laugh every goddamn time I see that damn Neanderthal movie trailer.

• I’m not sure how sick it is that I love class action suit commercials, and I don’t care.