GalacticMu

Press your spaceface close to mine

E Galactic Mu – the Novel

Posted by halcyon on Feb 11, 2013 at 9:10 am

Greetings, space travelers. It has been many earth-years since we fell through the worm-hole and were captured by the grok-groks of Capiscasicum V. Oh, the times we had!

Though we were barred from discussing science, fiction, science fiction, and video games, we found other ways to entertain ourselves. But lo, while our captors napped (a strong napping culture exists in the grok-grok’s system), our courageous Captain laboured on a secret project, one we pinned our hopes on–we knew she must be constructing a secret device or devious plan to return us to the Sol system and home, and brownies and felted hats and all that.

Unfortunately, it turned out that she was merely writing a science-fiction novel. It did not bring us home. After a time, the grok-groks simply lost interest in us and showed us the inverted wormhole and how to reverse it. So it goes.

Anyway, the important thing is you can get several years worth of our Captain’s lovely wit and storytelling, packaged in a convenient electronic package. Read more about it (and other subjects diverse and sundry) at her other blog: angerburger.com . Or skip the formalities and buy it directly ($3) from the evil empire (Amazon: e galactic mu). I guarantee that it will sooth your weary soul.

Still here to help,

Halcyon

Psych Officer

Galactic Mu

Crunkality

Posted by halcyon on Nov 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

One of the points of interest on my mental map is to make my own Mortal Kombat-style game. I’m not so much about the button mashing, but I love me some fatalities. My game would probably be 80% fatality.

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer

0 Posted in Games, Uncategorized

Fear of a robot planet

Posted by halcyon on Sep 12, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Some worry that the robots might eventually become smarter than humans. Here’s what you might have to look forward to if they don’t.

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer
Galactic Mu

[Captain says: stop messing with your speakers, there is no volume. This is the only YouTube video we could locate, and it had a copyright issue with the soundtrack.]

Sociable Disabled

Posted by halcyon on Jul 21, 2009 at 1:36 pm

Sociable Disabled
Finally, after all these years, a diagnosis.

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer

0 Posted in Techie

Invade the Vintage with Franco Brambillo

Posted by halcyon on Jul 19, 2009 at 2:02 pm

From flickr user Franco Bambilla. All rights reserved.

From flickr user Franco Bambilla. All rights reserved.


A little eye-candy for you space travelers. Human Franco Brambillo will amuse and delight you with his collection of vintage alien-invasion postcards. Of course, we’re all aliens to somebody.

Always here to help,
Halcyon Snow
Psych Officer

0 Posted in Uncategorized, Visual

The Beauty of Simplicity

Posted by halcyon on May 24, 2009 at 1:30 am

I was an accidental fan of Tom Gauld’s for years, thanks to a book of postcards in the Captain’s library. One day, I discovered he was on flickr, and lo, there was much rejoicing. Gauld packs a ton of humor and humanity into every cartoon and he makes it look so damn easy.  Slip on by his flickr stream and wallow in the goodness.

by Tom Gauld

(Copyright Tom Gauld)

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer
Galactic Mu

0 Posted in The Future, Visual

Kindle the Hooker, Pimp the Midget

Posted by halcyon on Mar 29, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I come from a long line of non-braggarts. It’s a Viking thing. We tend to keep to ourselves. We like to keep it all bottled up and then let it out in a frenzy of raping and pillaging and maybe some burning, if it’s not too damp out. It’s a cultural thing.

However-

I have to break precedent to tell you this: Dedicat Ed is now available on Kindle.

kindle-image.jpg

It is, as it says on the back cover*:

A heartwarming story about a foulmouthed midget who wants to play in the NBA, and his sister, a pragmatic prostitute. You know, the American dream.

If you own a Kindle or an i-phone, or an i-pod touch, and you like midgets and/or hookers and/or laughter, and/or feelings you should definitely buy Dedicat Ed. It’s only $4.80, the same price as a ham sammich. And it won’t make you fat, infest you parasites, or give you hammy breath. Guaranteed.

I co-wrote it a few years back with a good friend of mine, Eric Fleming. It’s very funny. Laugh-out-loud funny. I have no problem saying that because many of the funnier parts were not even written by me. It’s also pretty insightful about humans and the things they do, and I can definitely say that because none of the insightful parts were written by me.

I did, however, write a chapter which involves rough midget sex and Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six. If you ever want to make friends quickly, pull up that chapter, and put your gizmo on text-to-speech mode. Instant robot midget porn. And, like the man says, if your friends don’t like instant robot midget porn, then they’re no friends of mine.

Dedicat Ed is written in the style of an oral history. In other words, people take turns telling the story. It’s kind of like a mockumentary, if that helps. Here’s an excerpt from auto mechanic Willy Jopstone, one of Mary’s many satisfied customers:

…she told me she was eighteen but if I wanted would pretend she was fifteen or whatever. The thing about that girl was, and I remember this part too; was that she was a pro. Not that she fucked like a pro, which she did, but she was all business. No pimp either; I like that on account of the pimp always dickin’ me over money. Hey! I like to tell the boys, listen to this now, I like to tell the boys that when I get a hooker with a pimp I get fucked by the broad and then get fucked by the pimp, too! Two for the price of one! Get it? Not that I get a dick up my ass really, but that he screws me outta money. I ain’t queer.

What else about Cherry? Well, she charged more than most girls did. She asked alotta questions about stuff; things about cars and things about being a guy getting a hooker and shit like that. I told her, listen to this one, I told her: ‘What, you writin’ a book or somethin’?’ Hey Frank! You writin’ a book or somethin’?

What, more stuff? It was fifteen years ago man! All I know is this hot little chick is standin’ on the corner looking all fresh and fine and I says to myself: ‘Willy, this here is your lucky day!’ You can cut that out, the part with my name right? Anyways, so I stop and she gets in the car and names her price and tells me her brother will kill me if I don’t treat her right and puts her hand in my lap and off we went.

Oh, there’s one more thing that made me laugh my ass off. Listen to this one. Hey, listen to this one guys, I ask this hooker who’s this brother who’s gonna kill me if I don’t treat her right and she says it’s her little brother. I ask her how old her little brother is and she says; you hearin’ this? She says: ‘He’s seven!’

Always here to help,

Halcyon
Psych Officer
GalacticMu

 * There is no back cover.

0 Posted in Literature

This is why I hate grocery shopping.

Posted by halcyon on Mar 5, 2009 at 7:01 pm

And work. And hospitals. And malls. And so on.

Train Horns

Pure, distilled fluorescence.

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer
Galactic Mu

[Captain's Note:  I could also hear it, and found it so irritating I could only tolerate about five seconds of it.]

5 Posted in Daily Space

Human is Delicious

Posted by halcyon on Feb 18, 2009 at 9:50 pm

As you pass through distant and uncharted galaxies, it is important to remember that alien species often have different cultures than the one you are used to. These differences will almost certainly extend to the realm of culinary choices. Try to remain open minded, even if it means ingesting an ensign.

3261421205_396906673b.jpg

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer
Galactic Mu

0 Posted in Daily Space, Visual

Where Awesome Comes From

Posted by halcyon on Jul 9, 2008 at 2:56 pm

If you are anything like me (doughy, bookish, functioning eyeballs), and you grew up in the seventies or eighties, you have fond memories of the art of this guy: Richard Amsel. Here is a guy who, armed with only a pencil and some watercolors, and what I assume were huge pieces of paper, unleashed movie-scale awesomeness on our as-yet unjaded eyes. What kind of awesomeness? Try the poster for Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or the Dark Crystal. Or Chinatown. Or, Mu favorite, Flash Gordon. If your life were half as exciting as this poster, you’d probably die of awesome-poisoning.

amsel_flashgordon.jpg

Thank you, Mr. Amsel for blowing our young minds. And thank you, Adam McDaniel for telling the story of the man behind the awesomeness.

Always here to help,
Halcyon
Psych Officer
Galactic Mu

5 Posted in Visual