GalacticMu

SCENE I

SUNDAY searches for something on a shelf inside a WHOLE FOODS, but clearly cannot find it. A worker, EMO DUDE approaches.

ED: Can I help you find something?

ME: Yeah, I’m looking for emu oil.

ED: Oh… right, we don’t carry that. It’s an animal product.

ME: (points at shopping basket containing many items from meat department) I’ve got a while basket full of animal products.

ED: Um.

ME: Seriously, I’ve got lamb, beef and chicken in my basket. If there had been emu meat, I would have some of that too.

ED: Right, but, we don’t sell any personal products that are animal derived.

ME: What about that honey-calendula moisturizer right there?

ED: (fatal systems error)