Press your spaceface close to mine

My Own Private Blade Runner

Posted by Sunday on Jul 7, 2008 at 7:44 pm in Apocalypse, Daily Space

I am an enigma.

On one hand, I despise the presence of people, loathe the crush of more than a handful of human beings in visible proximity to myself. I long for silence.

On the other hand I am terrified of spiders and need at least one other person on call to crush them for me at a moment’s notice. I need sushi, prepared by aloof, masterful chefs who don’t roll their eyes or say “Que?” when you say omakase onegaishimasu. I need Super Target.

Back to the first hand, I need a cave, a nest, a quiet abode both spacious and well-lit during the day and quiet, dark and well-protected at night. Surrounded by trees. And puppies.

And then to the second hand again – I need to not feel like I’m an extra in a hillbilly slasher flick when I go out for a hamburger. To not have someone gape and say “Why’d ya wanna go and move away from Seattle for?” when I tell them where I’m from (dear ignorant, blissful hillbillies: your rents here are one third what a person might hope to pay in other parts of the country, so try to enjoy it).

But mostly, both hands won with the following: I am just not getting enough apocalypse adrenaline in my life. Also, we just got evicted from our apartment so a “young professional” couple can move into a brand new condo in a few months.

To the Los Angeles pod, navigator – set a course!

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July 7th, 2008 | Apocalypse, Daily Space

7 Responses to “My Own Private Blade Runner”

  1. Leesa Says:

    No matter which hand you’re talking about everything listed here kinda sounds like a description of LA: Baja sushi, mega shopping, hillbilly slasher extras and the ultimate apocalyptic rush. Don’t know about those well-lit puppies frolicking safely under the trees.
    No matter, your space adventure ought to be interesting to say the least.

    But really, most importantly… I have somewhere to crash when Comicon rolls around.

  2. Zombie Jesus Says:

    I’m sure you’re going to be delighted to know that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban named their daughter Sunday. You’s famous!

    And wait…what? You’re moving to L.A.??

  3. xadrian Says:

    That’s a heckuva lead up to the pay off part of the story. Sorry you’re being forced out.

  4. quagmire Says:

    Saw a frelling huge space vessel in a fi-sci movie once, as it lumbered by on-screen, name on the side in kilometer-sized lettering, was the ‘Los Angeles’. So just match speed and trajectory of GalacticMu alongside, EVA over to a visitor airlock and move in for a while. (FYI: Don’t forget, The Bradbury is a for-real building in L.A. I’ve had the extreme pleasure of touring it with a class I had. It is amazing).
    Some of the best sushi this side of Kyoto! Spiders don’t live in L.A. … no room! Extras are a well-payed class of people in Hollyweird. Hal will be in mondo-advertiso land, prolly second only to New Yawk City (get a rope!).
    So space hobos, just boldly go where 40 million other men and women have gone before …

  5. Sunday Says:

    Leesa: Yes, and yes. Of course. And I know that the phrase “saving money” causes an involuntary dry heave, but Comicon and the Grand Slam are already penciled into our Nerd Itinerary 2009.

    Zombie: Oh, believe me, I know it. I shouted outloud and upset Mike when I saw that she’d named her daughter Sunday. For the rest of my life I get to say, “Yes, like Nicole Kidman’s daughter!”

    Xadrian: Well, there’s a reason I don’t use Twitter a lot more than I do.

    quagmire: I know that so many people move to LA/Hollywood for the American Dream, and I suspect we’re going to have a hard time convincing folks that we don’t actually want any part of it. We just want reliable employment, access to surf (him), and free avocados (me).

  6. Padawan Valdez Says:

    Overheard in LA:

    “I’ve…seen things you people wouldn’t believe.”

    “What, like the sky or something?”

  7. quagmire Says:

    Overheard in Olympia:

    “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.”

    “What, like there’s a life outside this LOTT backwater town?”

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