Press your spaceface close to mine

But House Chimps? Really?

Posted by Sunday on Mar 21, 2008 at 6:35 pm in Daily Space, Literature

Apologies for a lack of content, dear readers, but I grudgingly had to write something “for real,” as the punk shits say. Somebody’s got to pay for the dilithium crystals to run this thing (which based on my pay, will not be me).

I’ve also struggled to compose something regarding the death of Arthur C. Clarke, but I got nothin’. Sorry. I just wasn’t a dedicated fan of his, and I have a certain amount of shame over my impassioned mockery of his TV show, Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World. GalacticMu commenter and old friend of mine, Shane (he’s getting really old, like with kids and everything), reminded me that as a teenager I called it Arthur C. Clarke’s World of Crazy Shit in lieu of being able to recall the real name. The program infuriated me: the somewhat smug old Clarke sitting there, introducing himself erroneously as the “inventor” of the communications satellite, after which he’d give compelling evidence for something mysterious – only to end each episode with haughty denial that any such mysterious thing could exist. Believers of strange events/phenomenon were often chided in his lulling, mealy British accent, often prompting me to shout at the TV “SHOULDN’T THIS SHOW BE CALLED ARTHUR C. CLARKE’S WORLD UTTERLY WITHOUT MYSTERY?”

It wasn’t until I was older that I appreciated him for the person he was. I appreciated that he fled to Buddhist paradise Sri Lanka (I can attest as an atheist forcibly surrounded by religion at all times: Buddhism is not a bad choice) and intently lived out the rest of his science-fiction loving years running a diving school and living with friends (which I always misread as “driving school,” a visual that makes me laugh and laugh. “Merge left here – I said merge left! There is perfectly reasonable scientific explanation for merging left!”). I appreciated that his wit never left, and that he honored and loved space travel until his last days. And I especially appreciated that he famously predicted the use of House Chimps by the year 1960. He’d apparently never actually met a monkey and did not know that you’d be far better off paying a hobo to come due chores for you.

This one’s for you, Arthur.


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March 21st, 2008 | Daily Space, Literature

3 Responses to “But House Chimps? Really?”

  1. quagmire Says:

    Isn’t this the skull that Clarke dismissed as having no significant, or mysterious nature and of modern (19th century) fabrication?
    Yet, Anna Mitchell-Hedges, the daughter of famed archaeologist F.A. Mitchell-Hedges., in a sworn affidavit, claims she found it buried under temple ruins in Lubaantun Honduras (modern day Belize). She claimed until her death it is of ancient Mayan origin and 3,600 years old. I must point out, she made a ton of money touring with this in a road show of artifacts … hmmm
    … Hence Subspace’s dubbing the show, ‘ARTHUR C. CLARKE’S WORLD UTTERLY WITHOUT MYSTERY.’
    The fucker IS beautiful … and I want it badly … so that I can kill people with it’s powers, erm, I mean, admire it.

  2. Padawan Valdez Says:

    OOhh, shit. I luurrved that whole genre of shows. Still do- that’s why I read Fortean Times religiously (No, serious. Chanting and bowing and shit), read the Daily Grail (blog), listen to Mysterious Universe (podcast), and am way more familiar with Jeff Rense’s mug than I am comfortable with. Oh, and I’ve actually read books by Graham Handcock, Erich von Daaniken, and am eagerly awaiting a library request for a book by David Icke (of the “the illuminati are controlled by shapeshifting reptiloid aliens from the constellation Draco” theory).

    “ACC’s Mysterious World”, and the Expansion Pack “Mysterious Universe”, “In Search Of..” (Spock! Fucking Spock discussing von Daaniken and the Oak Island Money Pit), a curious little chestnut named “Beyond Bizarre,” even up to “Sightings,” which was kind of like the hors d’oeuvre for the X-Files. Hmm, now that I think about it I guess this is really my Big Dork Thing. Maybe I should change my posting name…

  3. Padawan Valdez Says:

    Oh, and I can identify Zahi Hawass on sight, with or without his “I was wearing this way before Raiders came out” fedora. Douchebag.

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