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Two Movies I Foolishly Liked As a Child

Posted by Sunday on Jan 26, 2009 at 1:48 pm in Movies

  Howard the Duck (1986)


Two words: George.  Lucas.

Oh, how I recall laughing at this clever, irreverent masterpiece, which just goes to show how mentally retarded children are.  Rewatching it I found I couldn’t even muster the kind of nostalgic embarrassment I generally reserve for pop-culturey 80s movies.  The dialog has a kind of leaden, rote humor; the eponymous Howard T. Duck is not so much sarcastic as stating facts, the jokes are pun-heavy and the few good ones are a matter of delivery and not writing (as all good jokes are).  The potentially entertaining line between humans interacting with Howard (talking to him) and reacting to him (screaming, dropping groceries) is too distracting – not to mention that Leah Thompson in her underpants “joking” about making out with Howard while actually making out with Howard induces a revulsion I still can’t genuinely describe as “funny”.  There are enough uninspired one-liners in this movie to warrant a Will Smith remake.

The Water Babies (1978)


Dear god, what the fuck is that supposed to be?

Such clear memories of singing along, wanting to be a chimney sweep waif, wanting to dive into a river and find the Water Babies.  Joke’s on me, though: the animation of this film is terrible even beyond late 70′s standards and the storyline draaaags on for an eternity.  Did I really have a longer attention span when I was 5?  There’s no other explanation.  To make matters worse, the original story and Jessie Willcox Smith illustrations are gorgeous works of art in their own right:


It sounds harsh, but the movie just doesn’t have anything going for it at all.  I thought I’d at least still enjoy the music, but the sound of cocky stage children singing along with the stilted, Korean-slave-labor animation is enough to give me a seizure.

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January 26th, 2009 | Movies

One Response to “Two Movies I Foolishly Liked As a Child”

  1. Dan Coulter Says:

    Holy crap. I totally forgot about Water Babies. I think I remember being creeped out by the book as a child. I’m not sure though. I haven’t ever seen the movie, but I definitely read the book at some point in my early childhood.

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